First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
