i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
