why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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