I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
