Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
