i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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