i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
