I wanna bring you to show and tell
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
