You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Come see our sink grown plant.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
