Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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