I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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