Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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