am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
