White coat. Heels.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We need to get me chipped asap
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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