Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
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