I skipped work to stalk him.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dicks are not precious.
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