The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
