It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
