Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You ruined the universe
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