should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
