i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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