my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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