I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
