Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
