fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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