who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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