You made me cry and you don't even care
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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