I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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