Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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