You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
