Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
