Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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