everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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