dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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