I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
