i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
