PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
