white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
