I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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