imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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