Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
