new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
