She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
