Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
