I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
