belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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