i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
