FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
