Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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