we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize