You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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