Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
