I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
