I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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