you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize