Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
