Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it's like heaven, but drunker
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
