so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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