fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
