I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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