Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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